Let It Be Me
by philalethia
Summary: Hikari is suffering when Miyako decides to marry someone else. Hiyako with a little Daiken for the heck of it.


Notes: Yep, another sad fic from me

Notes: Yep, another sad fic from me. I apologize. I think I went through happiness overload when I was finishing "Untouched and Alive". 

Anyway, this is yuri with a some yaoi. That means f/f and m/m. Flame if you must; I warned you. *shrug* I dunno. I'm on a yuri kick right now. Expect a Mira/Somi sometime in the near future. I don't own the song "What About Love", Heart does. I'm merely borrowing the first verse and the chorus. Also I don't own Digimon, never have, never will. If I did, Hiyako would be an official couple. It's so *cute*. Ahem…enjoy.

* * * * *

__

I've been lonely; I've been waiting for you.

I'm pretending, and that's all I can do.

The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your heart.

* * * * *

It's strange how the world seems so much colder now that you're gone. I swear that our apartment's temperature has dropped a few degrees. 

Our apartment…I suppose it's not really _our_ apartment anymore, is it? It's _my_ apartment. And yet that's not how it should be. You were the one that picked it out, after all. "It has potential," you claimed. And so we bought it and decorated it, made it our own, so that we could live together, be together. 

But that was years ago. It stopped being our apartment when you left.

And I still don't even understand why you left. You say that you don't love me. I find that odd. We spent ten years together. Ten years of promises, confessions, smiles, tears, hugs, kisses, fights, make-ups, evenings cuddling up by a fire, romantic sunrises, blissful nights, all around happiness. And now you tell me it meant next to nothing. Answer me something, Miyako. How can you spend ten years with someone you don't love?

I argued with you as you were packing. You told me that he loved you.

He doesn't. I'm nearly positive of that. Although I admit I'm not entirely sure how anyone could not be hopelessly smitten with you. But for a second I considered reminding you of the obvious attraction between him and Daisuke. Instead I told you that I love you more.

You responded by telling me that you love him.

I called you a liar.

You slapped me and then stared dumbfounded at your hand, not believing that you'd actually done it.

You cried in the bathroom that day, when you were packing your various toiletries. I heard it. Your sobs echoed throughout the apartment. And it broke my heart. But I can't help but wonder. Were you crying for me, love? Or were you crying for yourself?

Ten years. Ten years and then everything I'd ever known came crashing down.

Now I admit, I suspected then that it was your parent's doing. They never were exactly open-minded people, and the glares they sent my way didn't escape me. It was only a matter of time before they tried to make you "normal".

And right after you left I told myself that you'd be back. I was certain that you would realize that your parents were wrong, that Ken wasn't the one for you. And then you'd come back to me, and we'd be together again, like we should be.

But God, Miyako, I never expected you to marry him.

* * * * *

__

You've been hiding, never letting it show.

Always trying to keep it under control.

You've got it now, and you're well on your way to the top.

But there's something that you forgot.

* * * * *

"You too, huh?"

I squinted in the sunlight at the smaller boy. "Excuse me?"

Daisuke smirked and moved to sit down across from me, removing his sunglasses as he did so. "By the look you just had on your face, I take it that you've heard the _wonderful_ news about Ken and Miyako."

"Their engagement?" I laughed dryly. "Yeah, I heard. Can't say I'm too happy about it, but…"

"I'm sorry." He reached over and placed his hand gently over mine, an attempt at comfort that I greatly appreciated. "God, Kari, I can't believe she did that to you."

"Yeah, well…" I shrugged stiffly and attempted to blink away the tears that had begun to form in the corners of my eye. "But what about you, Dai? I mean, we all thought you and Ken would stand the tests of time."

"You and me both, sweetheart." He sighed and looked away. "You and me both."

We lapsed into silence then, me idly stirring my late and him gazing blankly out the café window at the people who walked by. They were all happy, unlike us, whose lives were rapidly falling apart.

"Are you going?" Quiet, I had come to realize, meant thinking. And thinking at that point in time was becoming a very bad thing.

"To what? The wedding?" Daisuke laughed bitterly and reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He held it out, offering one, and I shook my head. With a shrug he stuck one in his mouth and lit it. "Yeah right. Me, going to an event in which the love of my life will be marrying the love of my best friend's life? I think not. I am no masochist, contrary to popular belief."

"I didn't know that you smoked."

He paused mid-drag to give the cigarette a thoughtful look. "Hn. I started when Ken left. Actually I started smoking _and_ I gained 20 pounds."

"You're moving up in the world," I joked, causing both of us to merely smile sadly. 

"Kari?"

"Hm?"

"You don't…" He trailed off, frowning at the air in front of his face. "You don't really think they're… in love, do you?"

I shook my head and replied, "No. No, I don't."

"Then why are they doing this?"

The pitiful and unnatural way his voice wavered struck another cord in my heart. "I don't know, Daisuke," I said honestly. "I just don't know."

And then after a moment's hesitation I casually reached over the small table and stole one of his cigarettes.

* * * * *

__

What about love? 

Don't you want someone to care about you?

What about love?

Don't let it slip away.

What about love?

I only want to share it with you.

You might need it someday.

* * * * *

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" I ask, somehow managing to keep all the emotions running through my body out of my voice. "You're sorry?" Somehow my Miyako, or who used to be my Miyako, standing here in front of me still wearing Ken's engagement ring and apologizing seems completely unreal to me.

"Yes, I am. I'm really, really sorry."

"For what? Leaving me or lying to me?" I can't keep the bitterness out of my voice even if I wanted to.

"I didn't lie to you, Kari. I just…" The fact that she was looking everywhere but at me didn't escape my knowledge. "I love Ken, and I know that it hurts you and I'm sorry. I was just…I was confused and you were…"

"Oh my God, Miyako!" I groaned angrily and forced myself out of the kitchen chair I had collapsed into only moments before. "That's your mother talking, not you."

"I…I'm sorry. I just wa…" She takes a shaky breath before finally meeting my eyes for the first time. "The wedding's in a week and I know you don't want to go, but we would really like you to. Taichi says that he's not going if you're not, and you know Yamato won't go if he won't, so…"

"You want me to go so that Tai and Yamato will? That's why you want me to go?"

"No, of course not!" I continue to stare blankly at her even after she looks away. "Kari, we were best friends before we were anything else. Now I'm asking you to come to my wedding, as my best friend."

__

As my best friend…

Well, that's a joke. But I merely shrug and push a piece of hair out of my face. "We'll see." I almost want to tell her that if Dai isn't going then I'm sure as hell not, but in some small corner of my mind I realize that somehow I'll find my way to that church whether I want to or not.

"Thank you." Then she smiled at me, not the fake smile that she had been giving everyone lately but the genuine one. And despite my anger and hurt, I found myself softening at it. It had always been my weakness, Miyako's smile. I honestly wonder if she knows that, and that's why she smiled right then.

All too quickly, however, her smile begins to fade until we're left just staring at each other with no emotions on our face. "Why?" I ask, cocking my head to the side. "Why are you doing this? And don't even tell me that you love him and you don't love me because I know that that's not true. It's your parents, isn't it? Are they forcing you into this?"

"No, they're not _forcing me_. They…" She inhales deeply, obviously exasperated. "Look, you don't understand. My parents aren't like yours. They…care."

I can't help it; I start to laugh bitterly. "Yours care? And you're saying mine don't?" She opens her mouth to respond but it's too late. The nerve has already been struck. "Get out." My voice drops to an icy level, causing both of us to blink in surprise.

With a dejected sigh, Miyako turns around and begins to make her way toward the front door. But just before her hand reaches the knob, she turns back and fixes me with an intense, tear-filled stare. "Fine!" she exclaimed, pushing her glasses away and rubbing her eyes. "You want to hear me say it? Fine! I love you, Kari, always have, always will!"

"Then why are you marrying Ken?" I got no response. "Get out," I repeat, turning my head just as my eyes begin to overflow.

And only when I hear her car leave do I finally collapse on the floor, tears flowing freely.

* * * * *

I hate weddings. I've decided that now. Because I have never felt such misery as I do at this very moment, watching Ken and Miyako exchange vows.

"Do you, Ken, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold…"

The hand that was already in a death grip around mine tightened even more, causing me to hiss silently in pain. But I don't say anything about it. I just glance over at my companion and give him an understanding smile, which he returns.

To say that no one expected Daisuke to show up would be an understatement, I think. But he did, just before the ceremony started. He had slipped in and sat next to me, immediately latching onto my hand and leaning close to whisper into my ear. "If we live through this," he said, "let's get married, you and me."

And I had laughed before placing a friendly kiss on his cheek. Although I must admit that right now I'm seriously considering taking him up on that offer. That would show them, wouldn't it, Dai and me getting married? Let's see how they react to it.

In front of us, Ken takes a deep breath and replies in a pitiful and obviously pained voice. "I do."

The priest seems satisfied with the response and turns to Miyako, _my_ Miyako. It's my turn to squeeze Dai's hand now, and I do. And he doesn't say a single thing.

She looks beautiful, I might add. I'd be lying if I said I could actually breathe when she walked down the aisle. For a brief moment in my mind, we were still together and perfectly happy. Then I noticed the fake smile and reality hit, and I had to turn my head.

"…as long as you both shall live?"

She's hesitating. Any fool can see that she's hesitating. My grip on Daisuke's hand lightens. _Come on, baby. You can say it. Say no, Miyako._

Then she takes a deep breath and glances at Ken. "No," she says, shaking her head. "No, I don't."

When she finally turns around and smiles at me, I swear to you that somewhere a group of angels started to sing.


End file.
